✅ Things to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say
(What Helped Me Talk to My Dad — And It Might Help You Too)
A few phrases that made hard conversations a little easier
Sometimes the hardest part of caregiving isn’t the logistics — it’s the conversations.
When emotions are high, when your parent resists help, or when you don’t know how to say something without it spiraling — a few softer words can make all the difference.
These are phrases that helped me.
Maybe they’ll help you, too.
✅ When You’re Not Sure How to Start
“Can I say something that’s hard for me to bring up?”
“This isn’t an easy conversation, but I think it matters.”
“I’ve been thinking about something and want to try putting it into words.”
❤️ When You’re Trying to Be Honest Without Causing Hurt
“I’m not trying to push — I’m trying to stay connected.”
“I don’t want to argue. I want to understand.”
“Can we talk about this in a way that doesn’t make either of us shut down?”
“Let’s revisit this tomorrow. I want to get it right, not just get it done.”
🤝 When You’re Feeling Dismissed, Overwhelmed, or Shut Out
“When you brush it off, it makes me feel like I don’t matter.”
“It’s hard for me to help when I feel like I’m being kept out.”
“I’m not trying to take over — I’m trying to be here for you.”
“Can we try to figure this out together, instead of one of us carrying it alone?”
📄 Want a printable version?
You can download the PDF here and keep it handy — or forward it to a sibling or friend who might need the same reminder.
If even one of these lines helps you breathe easier in a tough moment, then this gift did its job.
You’re not alone in this.
And you’re doing better than you think.
— John
